A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, breakfast is prepared set alongside the morning paper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! While Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,... "LADY, LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!!"

Moral of the story :

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

Here's a a list of some really funny reasons why alcohol should be served at work, 26 to be exact. Feel free to add in your own "creative" reasons to the list, and I'm pretty sure there's lots more. So guy's ... it's time to get your drinks and put on your thinking caps on ... or more precisely, off ...

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It reduces stress.
6. It cuts down on time off because you are willing to work with a hangover.
7. It encourages car pooling.
8. It helps save on heating costs during winter.
9. Increase job satisfaction, because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
10. It makes your fellow employees look better.
11. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
12. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
13. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked!
14. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. It makes the cafeteria food taste much better.
17. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
18. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
19. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
20. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
21. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk only during their lunch break.
22. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross".
23. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be a common language.
24. Everyone suddenly becomes an expert in politics.
25. Everyone agrees work is better after a couple of drinks.

And finally, the most special reason is :
26. Employees start speaking fluent English!

Went to a party recently and bumped into an old University friend of mine - who, not surprisingly had become an Investment Analysts. Decided to take advantage of the situation and quickly pulled my wise old buddy aside, for some good investment tips of course. Some great tips here, have a read (or should I say, have a laugh!!!) :

• If you had purchased $1,000 of Nortel stock a year ago, it would be now worth $49.00
• With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left on the original $1,000
• With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left
• If you would have purchased $1,000 of Delta Airlines stock, you would have $49.00 left

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminium recycling refund ....... You would have had $214.00.

So based on the above pointers, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle!!!

Young Son : Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad : That happens in every country, son.

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A man was complaining to a friend : "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then all of a sudden, BAM!, it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked his friend.

"My wife found out ......"

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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver!"