We're back with Part II as we journey the net to capture the funny side of 'Call Centers' and we take off from where we left off - Part I, actual Call Center conversations !
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!) :
Operator : 'Mark Spencer, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller : 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator : 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller : 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away'
Operator : 'Went away?'
Caller : 'They disappeared.'
Operator : 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller : 'Nothing.'
Operator : 'Nothing??'
Caller : 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator : 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller : 'How do I tell?'
Operator : 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller : 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator : 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller : 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator : 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller : 'What's a monitor?'
Operator : 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller : 'I don't know.'
Operator : 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller : 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator : 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller : 'Yes, it is.'
Operator : 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller : 'No.'
Operator : 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller : 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator : 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller : 'I can't reach.'
Operator : 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller : 'No.'
Operator : 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller : 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator : 'Dark??'
Caller : 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator : 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller : 'I can't.'
Operator : 'No? Why not??'
Caller : 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator : 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator : 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller : 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator : 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller : 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator : 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
