Medical Advice

Posted by Yasmin | Friday, June 22, 2007 | , , | 8 comments »

I really don't know which Doctor wrote this, but I like him!

Health, Question and Answer Session.

Q : I've heard that Cardiovascular exercise can prolong life, is this true?
A : Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it .... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap!

Q : Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A : You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable)

Q : Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A : No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q : How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A : Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one , etc.

Q : What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A : Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is simple, No pain ...... Good!

Q : Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A : You're not listening!!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A : Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q : Is chocolate bad for me?
A : Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's best feel-good food around!

Q : Is swimming good for my figure?
A : If swimming is good for your figure, explain Whales to me.

Q : Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A : Hey 'Round' is a shape!

Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And Remember : Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet in one hand - Chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Woo Hoo, What a Ride"

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  1. Adrian // June 22, 2007 at 9:34 AM  

    Oh No! I've been lining my life all wrong LOL

  2. Yasmin // June 22, 2007 at 11:06 AM  

    Hi Adrian.

    Thanks for joining us again. Yup, looks like a lot of us are doing it wrong! ha ha ha

  3. Franx Budi // June 22, 2007 at 1:05 PM  

    Nice and make me smile this ...
    greeting dari jakarta

  4. Bobby Revell // June 24, 2007 at 2:43 AM  

    Very good! Ireally like your comment at the bottom about living life to the fullest:)

  5. Izz // June 25, 2007 at 3:33 PM  

    Nice blog. Funny too. Izz was here.

  6. Yasmin // June 25, 2007 at 6:40 PM  

    Hi Izz!

    Welcome onboard the Joke Blog! Glad you liked the funny bits and pieces here. Hope to hear from you again.

    Ta Ta for now :)

  7. Yasmin // June 25, 2007 at 6:46 PM  

    Hi Bobby.

    Well, what can I say, we only live once (unless you're a Buddhist) so, why not make the best of it!

    And ya, your 'new' site looks sooo nice :)

  8. Yasmin // June 25, 2007 at 6:55 PM  

    Hi Franx,

    Thank you for your comment. I'm glad that you liked the jokes here at The Joke Blog.

    Hope to see you around :)

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