First Degree
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

Second Degree
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

Third Degree
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

Fourth Degree
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy : W."

Fifth Degree
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

Sixth Degree
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?"

"They send me a BLIND policeman."

This guy was stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he saw a speck in the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck got a little closer and he thought, "It's not a boat." The speck got even closer and he thought, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

The woman came up to the guy and said, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" He said, "Ten Years!" She reached over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulled out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He took one, lighted it, took a long drag, and said, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whisky?" He replied, "Ten Years!" She reached over, unzipped her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulled out a flask and gave it to him. He took a long swig and said, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she started unzipping this long zipper that ran down the front of her wet suit and she said to him, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" And the man replied, "My God! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"

Two blondes decided to rob a bank and sat down to draw up an elaborate plan for the heist. They practised the routine many times in their heads. Then the big day came.

One blonde sat waiting in the car while the other went into the bank. Five minutes, ten minutes and then half an hour passed. She was not supposed to take that long inside the bank.

After what seemed like ages she finally came running out with the safe tied securely with a rope. Moments later, the door of the bank swung open and out came the security guard, clumsily blasting away with his pump gun because his trousers were down to the floor!

As they fled away in their car, one blonde said to the other, "You idiot! You're supposed to tie up the security guard and blow the safe."

Three women were having lunch and discussing their husbands. The first said, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren't mine!" The second said, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my sewing needle!" The third woman fainted.

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A man rushed into his house and yelled to his wife, "Jane, pack your things. I just won the lottery!" Jane replied, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responded, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

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Hear about the blonde with the AM radio? It took her a month to realize that she could play it at night.

Husband : "Shall we change positions tonight?"
Wife : "Well, of course. You can cook and wash the dishes, and I'll sit on the sofa and fart."

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This blonde's house caught fire. She called the fire department and said, "Help Me, Help Me, my house is on fire."

The fireman said, "How do I get there?"

The blonde said, "DUHHH with the big red truck of course."

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Why did God give nipples to women?
To make suckers out of man ...

Two tiny, gray-haired women in a crowded lift were engrossed in an animated conversation.

One of them said loudly, "Well my fantasy has always been to have two men at the same time."

There was complete silence as everyone in the lift turned to stare at the woman who had made such an intimate disclosure. Then she laughed and continued, "One would do the cooking and the other would do the cleaning."

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A well dressed gentleman entered the bar of a five star restaurant, sat at the bar and ordered four rounds of the most expensive drinks. The bartender served them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumed all four drinks in a matter of seconds.

The bartender commented, "Wow, anybody that drinks like that has real problems."

The gentleman replied, "If you had what I have, you'd drink them fast, too." Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asked, "What do you have?"

"Fifty Cents," the man answered.

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Why did the blonde take off all her clothes at the Laundromat?

Because the sign on the washing machine said, "When spinning stops, remove your clothes."

Two blonde's were on a plane on a long distance flight. Halfway in the air, the captain announced, "If you look out of the plane on your right, you will see that we have lost an engine, but not to worry, we still can make it safely to our destination with three engines. However, we'll be two hours late."

Later, the captain announced that they had lost another engine. "But don't worry, we'll be able to make it with two engines. However we'll be four hours late," he said.

Then again, the captain came on to announce that they had lost yet another engine. "But don't worry, we'll still be able to make it with a single engine. However we'll be six hours late," he said.

Then one blonde said to the other, "I hope they don't lose another engine or we'll be up here all day."