Two blondes decided to rob a bank and sat down to draw up an elaborate plan for the heist. They practised the routine many times in their heads. Then the big day came.

One blonde sat waiting in the car while the other went into the bank. Five minutes, ten minutes and then half an hour passed. She was not supposed to take that long inside the bank.

After what seemed like ages she finally came running out with the safe tied securely with a rope. Moments later, the door of the bank swung open and out came the security guard, clumsily blasting away with his pump gun because his trousers were down to the floor!

As they fled away in their car, one blonde said to the other, "You idiot! You're supposed to tie up the security guard and blow the safe."

Two idiots were searching the city for something to do, but they only had two dollars on them. They didn't have enough money for any kind of fun, until they were walking around a corner and finally came to a drug store.

Then one idiot quickly entered the store, rushed out a little while later and announced to his friend, "Hey, we can have a lot of fun with this!"

The other idiot said, "What kind of fun can you have with a box of tampons ?"

The first idiot then said, "It say's right here on the box - You can swim, you can play tennis, you can even ride a horse with it."

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he wanted to reach the kitchen department in his building, so he dialed the number and shouted into the phone, "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly".

The voice from the other side responded, "You fool! You've dialed the wrong extension. Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No", replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No", replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God", replied the trainee and put down the phone.