A golfer was playing a round of golf when he came across a bottle. When he touched the bottle a genie appeared and offered him one of two choices. He could either become the world's greatest golfer or the world's greatest lover. He picked to be the world's greatest golfer.

The golfer went on to shoot a round in the low 50's. When he finished the genie asked, "It's really none of my business, but why did you pick golf over sex?"

The golfer replied, "I do pretty well with the ladies, but I never was much of a golfer". The genie continued, "Well, just out of curiosity, how often do you have sex?" The golfer replied, "Oh, I guess once or twice a month".

Somewhat surprised the genie said, "That doesn't sound like the world's greatest lover".

The golfer replied, "Maybe not, but it's not bad for a priest in a small town".

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says, "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Phoof! There is a flash of light, and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Phoof! There is a flash of light, and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.

He happily continues again, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Phoof! There is a flash of light, and he turns into...... a box of chocolates.