Three businessmen, an Australian, Indian and a Japanese, were sitting naked in a sauna. All of a sudden, there was a beeping sound. The Indian businessman immediately pressed his forearm and the sound of the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

"That was my pager" he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished, he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand."

The Aussie guy felt decidedly low tech at that moment, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Aussie finally said ......."Oh, will you look at that!! I'm getting a fax ..."

A Japanese tourist got in a cab and told the driver to drive him to the airport. On their way, a car zoomed by and the Japanese went, "Aaah, Toyota, made in Japan, very faaast!" And then, another car zoomed by and the Japanese went, "Aaah, Nissan, made in Japan, very faaast!" And then, another car zooms by and again the Japanese lets out, "Aaah Mitsubishi, made in Japan, very faaast!"

By this time, the cabby was getting tired of his passenger's nationalistic pride. Upon arriving at the airport, the cabby tells his passenger, "$130 please."

The Japanese went, "$130? It's not that far from the hotel!"

The cabby replied, "Aaah, taxi meter, made in Japan, very faaast!"

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York city restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

She says "What the hell do you guy's think you are doing?"

One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."

The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"

One of the the other businessmen replies, "Because menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED"

Three women, a Japanese, a Korean and a Black woman were stranded after an airplane crash. The Japanese woman started gathering all of the clothes saying, "When they come to rescue us, they will take the best looking and dressed one."

The Korean woman started going for all the money and jewels saying, "When they come to rescue us, they will take the wealthiest one."

Then the Black woman started removing all of her clothes until she was stark naked saying, "When they come, they will look for the black box first!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man was in a hotel lobby. He wanted to ask the clerk a question. As he turned to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumped into a woman beside him. As he did so, his elbow touched her breast. They were both quite startled.

The man turned to her and said, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replied, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 453!"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An attorney noticed a boy kneeling in the dirt playing with a pile of shit. The lawyer asked, "What are you doing there?" The boy replied, "Making people."

"So, who's that?" asked the lawyer, pointing to a pile. "That's a banker," came the reply.

"Can you make a lawyer?" the attorney asked. The boy shot back, "Nope, not enough shit."