Quick Laughs 7

A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn. "Evening, boys. What are you doing?"

"Nothing much, Pastor," replied the one lad. "We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his sex life."

"Boys, boys, boys!" intoned the minister. "I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about sex at all."

The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, "You win, Pastor!"

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Two sweet old ladies were sitting in the park one afternoon, feeding the birds, when a big burly guy walked up, and sat down beside them on the bench. After a minute, one of the old lady's whispered to the other.

"Linda, this dirty bugger is masturbating right next to me!"

"Oh my lord! Well, let's just leave, Jane," her friend replied with disgust.

"I can't," said the other. "He's using my hand."

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Two executives, Mark and Harry, staggered out of their company's holiday party in New York City. Harry crossed the street, while Mark stumbled into a subway entrance. When Harry reached the other side, he noticed Mark emerging from the subway stairs.

"Where've you been?" Harry slurred.

"I don't know," replied Mark, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!"