A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist : "Hello, could you give me a condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me." The pharmacist gives him the condom.

As the young man is going out, he returns and tells him : "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she needs me and I think she expects something from me too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom.

As the boy is leaving he turns back and says : "After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's Mom is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes allusions ... and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me as well!!"

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister facing him and the mom on his right.

When dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying : "Dear Lord, bless this dinner ... thank you for all you give us ... !!!" A minute later the boy is still praying : "Thank you Lord for your kindness ..." Ten minutes, and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others.

She gets close to the boy and whispers in his ears : "I didn't know you were so religious!!!"

And the boy replies back to his girlfriend : "I didn't know your father was a pharmacist!!!"

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. What was the best way to find out who to marry? So, he decides to give each one $5,000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total make-over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5,000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5,000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and made a conclusion ...... he married the one with the biggest breast !!!

A man sat by himself in a bar with a depressed look on his face. The bartender asked him why. He said, "Last night I was so drunk that after making love with my wife, I passed her a fifty dollar bill".

The bartender said that it was not a reason to feel sad.

"But you don't understand," the man said. "She gave me back $10".

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A man sat down by a woman in a bar and said, "You know, this watch I'm wearing is magic. I can tell everything about someone by just looking at it."

"Prove it," she said.

"Well, for instance, I can tell you're not wearing any panties".

"But I am", she said.

"Oops!", he said. "This thing must be an hour fast".

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Girlfriend : And are you really sure that you only love me and no one else?
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.