Sherlock Holmes and his pal Dr. Watson were out camping one night. Sherlock turned to Watson and asked, "What do you see?"
Watson answered, "I see millions and millions of stars in the sky."
Holmes said, "Yes, but what does it tell you?"
"Well, I can see Uranus is in Leo. From the position of the Hunter Cluster, I can deduce that the time now is about a quarter to two. Also, I can see that God is all powerful and we are small and insignificant in a limitless universe. And yes, the weather will be fine tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
"You dumb-head," Sherlock said, "someone has stolen our tent."
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Overheard at a party : "My first husband, he was a psychiatrist, and all he wanted to do was talk about sex. My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was ...... Oh God, I miss him!!"
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Patient : Doctor, as soon as I fall asleep I start snoring.
Doctor : Is your snoring loud?
Patient : Yes, very.
Doctor : And does it bother your wife?
Patient : I'm not married.
Doctor : So you sleep alone? Then I guess it's not a problem.
Patient : Not a problem? I've been fired from five jobs because of it.
