This robber from across the border robbed a bank in Texas. He managed to evade arrest for a while but eventually the sheriff spotted him in a bar and caught him.

He brought in the robber for questioning and demanded that he tell the truth, "Where did you hide the loot?" Unfortunately, the robber couldn't answer as he could only speak in Spanish, so the sheriff asked the only lawyer in town, who happened to speak Spanish, to translate his question.

The frightened robber blurted out in Spanish that he buried the money under a tree in the churchyard. The sheriff turned to the lawyer and asked, "What did he say?"

The lawyer answered, "He said that you are a crooked bum law-keeper who cannot shoot a bull three feet away."

Two blondes decided to rob a bank and sat down to draw up an elaborate plan for the heist. They practised the routine many times in their heads. Then the big day came.

One blonde sat waiting in the car while the other went into the bank. Five minutes, ten minutes and then half an hour passed. She was not supposed to take that long inside the bank.

After what seemed like ages she finally came running out with the safe tied securely with a rope. Moments later, the door of the bank swung open and out came the security guard, clumsily blasting away with his pump gun because his trousers were down to the floor!

As they fled away in their car, one blonde said to the other, "You idiot! You're supposed to tie up the security guard and blow the safe."

A businessman walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer said the bank would need some kind of security for such a loan. So, the businessman handed over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the bank agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"